Motherhood made me do it

A few weeks ago, I said that my mantra was “This too shall pass.” Well, for the time being, that mantra has indeed passed, and I have now adopted a new mama motto: “Motherhood made me do it.”

Before I had a baby, there were all sorts of things I swore I would never ever do, cross my heart, hope to die, pinky swear. Well, as you can imagine, most of those things went out the window quickly after Jacob was born. Others lingered for a few months and finally decided to take the plunge more recently.

Since being a mom, I’m surprised at the things I’ve done. Some are silly, some are sweet, but, if we’re being honest here, most are downright strange and maybe even a little (or a lot) icky.

Here is my ever-growing “motherhood made me do it” list. Oh, and if you have any weird ways of your own, don’t leave me hanging, pretty please with a cherry on top. Share your weird motherhood moments in the comment section below. We moms have got to stick together, even if it’s only by swapping stories and weird habits that only we can understand.

I …

—Wipe up slobber and spit-up off with whatever is most convenient. Sometimes my hand, sometimes my own shirt

—Wake up Jacob while he is sleeping because I am afraid he “isn’t comfortable.”

—Cry buckets of tears over anything remotely sad and baby-related. Seriously, if I even see a baby cry in a movie, I go to pieces because I know that in that moment in time that baby didn’t know he was “acting.” He was really and truly crying and no one would help him and he felt all alone and…and… You’ll have to excuse me for a moment while I grab a tissue.

—Eat something that Jacob has slobbered all over without thinking twice about it—until it’s already in my mouth.

—Take J to church in his pajamas because he is still sleeping when we had to leave.

—Lick my finger and wiped J’s face, smoothed his hair, etc.

—Bite off J’s finger nails because I couldn’t find the nail clippers.

—Wipe a tiny bit of poop off a diaper and put it back on him because I didn’t want to waste yet another diaper. (For the record, Tom hates this one.)

—Sing in public to calm Jacob down.

—Do the chicken dance in public to calm Jacob down.

—Do anything physically possible, no matter how ridiculous, to calm Jacob down.

—Shamelessly compare Jacob to any and every other baby we see. Of course, in my estimation, he is always a step ahead of all the other munchkins.

—Sway back and forth subconsciously when I’m holding anything—my purse, a bag of flower, a cat.

—Run to Jacob’s room after I swear that I hear him crying only to find him fast asleep.

Now, what’s on your “motherhood made me do it” list?