The next best thing

So my wife and I have ventured out with Bub on a couple of modest family vacations, visited out-of-state relatives, and had people watch him on anniversaries or birthdays for the evening.

I have gone out of town on my own a couple of times, my wife and Ihave never taken a trip together. And it hadn’t occurred to me until recently that she has yet to spend one night away from our son.

Now she claims it’s not for lack of desire or some overwhelming maternal instinct, but more her position that while breastfeeding, she can never truly be on vacation. Mammary Jail. It wouldn’t be what we wanted, what I had built up in my head anyway, so she might as well be with him, yadda yadda. I, of course, was willing to test that theory. A rare opportunity arose recently, while we were visiting her family in L.A. I immediately began putting together a case for a romantic weekend excursion to San Diego. I spent weeks gathering evidence, interviewing witnesses and stockpiling bottles.

Let’s just say the defense poked several holes in my case, and my plea bargain of one night was quickly countered with one night, her mom and Bub included. Separate (but adjoining) rooms. Take it or leave it. I had to admit it was clever negotiating. That idea had never occurred to me. I of course agreed to these terms, we packed the car, and were off on our next great adventure.

Funny how drastically your notion of a night out changes as new parents; I felt like we did a bunch of stuff, lit the town up, and yet we were asleep in our room by 10:30. But the whole experience was great. We did plenty of exploring while her mom looked after the youngster, and it was much more fun than it initially sounded. I’m aware that people sometimes bring a nanny on vacation with them, and now I understand why—optional responsibility. Part-timing it. Sure beats the daily grind.

To those of you with parents nearby, this happily may not be as relevant. I can’t imagine the luxury of being able to drop him with my parents on a whim because I want to go to a movie or a baseball game or the gym. I’m sure it’s not that simple, but it still looks much greener from this side of the fence.

But you do the best you can, you extemporize, adapt and get creative. You may not get starlit walks and chocolates on your pillow, but you get a tri-generational bonding experience. And that’s definitely the next best thing.