The post-birth world of baby toots

Who hasn’t blamed their toots on their baby? I know you’re out there. I can’t be alone in this.

Let’s face it. The post-pregnancy reality for a lot of women involves an unflattering level of flatulence. Even if you change up your diet, things are still more likely to … er, escape.

I can’t say I know why. Maybe your organs are a little looser. Or maybe your body so enjoyed giving birth, it can’t wait to release everything else.

Truthfully, my best guess is that we get so busy with the wee ones, we don’t always pay close attention to what’s going on in our own bodies.

Little Chloe is an excellent tooter — especially in the mornings. It’s almost like a comedy show. When she stretches, she toots. When she sneezes, she toots. When she yawns, oh yes, she toots.

Any exertion on her part seems to result in a tiny baby bottom vibration.

It’s adorable when she does, but not so much when it’s me.

To be honest, all the extra tooting going on in our house has sort of changed the way hubby and I do things.

Before we had kids, we maintained a certain level of discretion when it came to bathroom-related activities. Even after twelve years together, we’d still close the door when one of us had to go. We were never the couple who passed gas in front of each other or with friends around.

Our bathroom habits first started changing after Caden learned to walk. Privacy vanished once he learned how to open doors and flush toilets.

But tooting … tooting was our last region of refinement. Not so much anymore. Now, thanks to my eager-to-exhale, post-partum body, there’s nothing left to hold back. Literally.