Week 38: And now we wait…

With just 10 days to go before my due date arrives, these last few weeks feel like the ultimate test in patience. Knowing our little girl could come at any time—or make us wait a little longer—has us sitting on the edge of our seats. We’ve crossed off all of our to-dos, we’ve got our hospital bag packed, the doctor is on speed dial, and we’ve got a tentative plan in place for when it’s go-time. I think it’s safe to say we are as baby ready as two newbies can be.
The disappointing thing is that being “ready” isn’t exactly calming my nerves at all. You’d think that having the nursery finished, the baby monitor set up and the car seat installed would put me at ease, but it really hasn’t. Of course I am happy to be prepared as well as I can be, but that doesn’t change the fact that at this point in the pregnancy, everything is pretty much out of my control. And this waiting game we’re playing is practically driving me crazy!
I may be a first-timer at this whole pregnancy thing, but I am smart enough to know that when it comes to labor and delivery—anything can happen. Even if you do have a plan, there is a pretty good chance it could go right out the maternity ward window. Not only do I not get to know what exactly is going to happen, but I don’t even get to know when it’s all going to happen. For someone like me who lives by making plans, it’s enough to keep me tense and on my toes. I’m constantly Googling things like “signs of labor,” taking mental notes and comparing symptoms.
The key to combating the paranoia and anxiety that lingers in the wake of the baby waiting game is to keep busy. For this reason alone I haven’t stopped working yet, much to the dismay of my worried husband and concerned mother. Even work can’t stifle the constant pondering of what will be my labor and delivery experience, but it does help to distract me for a few hours of the day. In all the articles I’ve browsed, books I’ve read, and pieces of unsolicited advice I’ve received over the past 9 months, no one ever said how frustrating the last few weeks of waiting would be.
Physically, I feel like could go into labor at any second; mentally, I feel like this whole pregnancy has been some mean-spirited trick that will go on forever. The anticipation I feel outweighs anything I’ve ever felt before, even those exciting last days before my wedding. The fact that labor and delivery is something I am both eagerly awaiting and fearfully dreading is incredible to me. We are as ready as we can be to meet our daughter, but for now we must sit back until she’s ready to grace us with her presence.